Controversy Swirls Around Essense CCO (Chief Canine Officer) Over Stock-Holders' Reallocated Assets:
“I deeply regret any harm I have caused by the reallocation of my Essense customers' assets,” confesses a remorseful Ruggles, the CCO (Chief Canine Officer). “These were particularly gracious and lovely customers,” admits Ruggles, “and I never should have reallocated their valuable resources to myself while nobody was looking.”
The Essense CCO of just over 3 years goes on to explain “that bacon cream cheese bagel hiding in that beautiful woman’s purse smelled even more scrumptious than any perfume my customers were creating in the Essense Parfumerie.”
It seems the highest officer of the company stole the wrapped bacon-cream cheese bagel right out an unsuspecting customer's purse last Saturday night while she and her sisters sat at the Essense Apothecary Perfume Bar, creating some fabulous and exotically extraordinary fragrances, which can sometimes take an hour or two. The attractive teal-colored purse was left open and unguarded on the oriental-carpeted maple floor in the Essense Barn. Fortunately, no other items, including wallet, phone or car keys were absconded with. The only reallocated asset appeared to be a half-eaten bagel, entirely devoid of it’s bacon-cream cheese filling. The remains of the missing bagel were found later, not far from the couch, the sight of the original bungled bagel-burglary.
The fun-loving Essense customers took quite a liking to Ruggles, the Essense CCO. In fact, they commended him on his acute powers of observation, his keen sense of smell, and his due diligence in uncovering such a delicious snack, hidden away for later consumption. “He worked very hard in unwrapping and reallocating that bagel,” the customers’ guffawed. They will not be pressing charges, and Essense hopes that Ruggles the CCO, will be more observant of corporate rules and regulations in the future.
When questioned for further explanation on his behavior, Ruggles asks with incredulity, “Have you forgotten I’m a rescued ghetto-poodle from Providence’s Smith Hill, and I survived my childhood by foraging bits of bagel and donuts from the bags and wrappings left in a nearby Dunkin’ Donuts parking lot? You can take the ghetto-poodle from the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto from a ghetto-poodle."
Tamsan & Ruggles
Tamsan is a practicing perfumer as well as a sidewalk social scientist with an actual degree. Ruggles is also a sidewalk social scientist, a ghetto poodle with dubious urban-feral origins. Together, they blog about life's sensory & fragrant spectacle. More specifically, Tamsan blogs about olfactory mysteries and miracles; Ruggles prefers to comment on anything odoriferous.
Rock Ridge Farm
48 Waukewan Road
outside Meredith Village, NH
PO Box 689 • Meredith, NH 03253